I think I want a Child- What’s the Risk?

That question can almost make you chuckle because having a child means being responsible for another human. The risks are endless. But so is the joy. Being a mom of two, this was a topic I thought about and planned for a lot. The thoughts and planning continues and changes as they grow. It’s easy to get caught up in it all, and forget to take a moment to breath and enjoy. Soak in their smiling faces, the cute moments, the sound of their laugh. So if you are beginning on this journey of having a child, I hope this article helps you collect your thoughts to begin an amazing journey.

Do I really want a child?

Notice the title of this blog is ‘I THINK  I want a child’.  It’s important to allow yourself time and self-reflection on such a major decision.  Is having a child what you truly want right now, or at all?  Or are the pressures of society swaying your thoughts?  Perhaps the wants of a partner are swaying your thoughts.  This is a life changing journey and you owe yourself the time to think about it to choose how you want.  

No yup, I really want one

You thought about it, and you know for sure you want to have a baby. You’ve decided you’re ok with sacrificing sleep, money, free time, and probably eventually your TV. Now what?

Begin on your Path

If you are planning to get pregnant and carry your baby, find a gynecologist. I know you may already have one for routine care, but be sure this is the provider and facility you want to stay with for child birth. Start taking prenatal vitamins, I actually started this once we decided we were going to start trying. Other paths may include a fertility specialist or adoption agency.

Coverage

Once you make the decision that you will try to conceive, make sure you have insurance. This includes regular medical insurance as well as signing up for short term disability. The hospital bills are hefty even with insurance, so I would not want to see the bill without it. Short term disability will provide you with a portion of your income when you are out on maternity leave. Don’t assume you will just get paid 100% of your salary as you are home with baby. You can use personal time but it may not be enough for a full maternity leave or even a decent portion of it. In most cases, you must sign up for Short Term Disability before you get pregnant, so plan ahead if you are able. And finally submit that FMLA paperwork. Again this is not going to provide pay in any form, but it will ensure your job for up to 12 weeks.

Game Day Plans

Decide what hospital you want to deliver and how you would like to plan to deliver. I encourage you to ask around and do your due diligence on picking the best facility for you. I had each of my kids at a different hospital and the experience was like night and day. It is already an overwhelming time, if you can be in the best of care, try to find that.

Which brings me to labor. Talk about Risky. Many improvements have been made but it is still risky. It’s painful. It is NOT easy. Whether it be cesarean or vaginal – none of it is easy. I’ve had the experience of having one each method, neither easy. Make your delivery plans. There are so many articles and guides about what exactly that entails, just remember it is a tentative plan. I think they’re great to have, because it gives you a small area of control. You created that plan. You will gain knowledge about child birth from making that plan. And leading up to ‘game day’ you’ll feel more prepared. After that, your little one will decide how it actually goes. I hope it is a smooth, quick delivery as I hear are possible. But even if not, it won’t last forever- and I’ve never heard anyone say that it wasn’t worth it!

OMG I have a Baby!

Now that the baby is here, you have to feed it. I definitely believe in the ‘fed is best’ slogan. So which ever method you choose is great. I breastfed for 6 months, then switched to formula. Breastfeeding is not easy. It’s painful. And if you struggle with supply it can be frustrating and overwhelming. There are a lot of resources available like ‘La Leche League’, so if you go this route, utilize all the help lines you can find.

As I mentioned, FMLA will allow you 12 weeks home with baby and still maintain a job for you to return to. So if both parents plan to go back to work, you will need to set up child care. Sometimes there is family able and willing to help with this. If not you will want to look into daycare facilities to be sure they align with your expectations of standard of care. Also find out the cost so you can budget accordingly, some facilities include food and diapers in the price.

Another item to decide on is what insurance will your babybe placed on. You have some time for this, the baby qualifies to be under mom’s insurance for the first 30 days of life (typically, check with your insurance agency). After that you will need to either add baby to your plan, your partner’s plan OR look into the state offered options. CHIP is an option regardless of your income. I used this program for a period of time because the rates were cheaper than adding to either of our employee plans. Even if you are in the higher income range bracket for CHIP, the rate may be better than your employer’s.

Secure a pediatrician. Again try to learn about them to see if they meet standard of care, ask around for recommendation and make sure they take your insurance. I arranged this ahead of time since you have to have visits right away after being discharged from the hospital. One less thing to worry about as an exhausted mom of a newborn.

They Grow So Fast

As they grow up, another item to consider is opening a 529account. A 529 account is tax benefit investment account. The money from this account can be used towards education expenses for the beneficiary child. Education expenses that are covered include college tuition, books & equipment, and even room & board. Also, more recently, you are allowed to utilize some of your funds towards the child’s K-12 tuition or expenses. If your child does not go to college, the money is still theirs, it just will not receive the tax benefit. So if you can, find which account is best for you (you do not have to choose one from your state), and start contributing. As with most investment accounts, the longer the account has to grow, the better. A colleague of mine once told me they would add the monetary amount of whatever they just grew out of. So once the baby was out of diaper, they would put the amount they used to spend on diapers each month, and contribute that to their 529 account. I thought it was a good idea, but honestly anything is better than nothing.

Believe it or not, this blog is not to discourage you from having a child. The point is to discuss topics to prepare you. It’s easy to see how amazing and blissful it is to have a child, but let’s prepare each other for the reality of it as well. Having my kids has been the absolute best thing to ever happen to me. They fill me up with so much love and joy I just burst into tears thinking about them. But it is in no way easy. So I think it’s always best to be prepared, make a plan and then enjoy the journey. I hope this article was a helpful starting point to develop plans and take steps towards the exciting adventure of parenthood.