Ignoring your Emotions – What’s the Risk?

Ok, here’s a topic everyone can relate to. Emotions. Maybe you’re thinking I don’t know Christine, I’m pretty sure there are people that are emotionless and dead inside. I’d have to disagree. We all have emotion and we deal with them in different ways. How we deal with them can effect a lot of things in our lives. Which is why ignoring your emotions can be risky. When these emotions are kept in, you react accordingly.

The Power of Emotions

Once you have mastered being able to successfully feel your emotions, allow yourself to understand them and let go of the ones that are no longer needed, you will see some powerful changes. Stop fighting them or trying to act like they don’t exist. They’re real and it’s ok to have them.

Emotion Example: Guilt

Maybe you’re feeling the emotions of anger, frustration or you’re annoyed with your significant other because of a fight you had. Then later that day your kid has a temper tantrum. Your reaction may be to yell at them and start having your own meltdown because of this built up emotion. After you all calm down and turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, another emotion arises – guilt. You didn’t actually want to react the way you did to parent that toddler temper tantrum, but it just happened.

Emotion Example: Regret

Another example is when you feel insecure or embarrassed about something occurring in your life, maybe it happened at work. You come home and before you know it, you start spouting off rude and passive aggressive comments towards your partner. They look dazed and confused, but you don’t care because in that moment you know you’re right, and they did wrong. But again the dust settles and you start to feel another emotion – regret.

Brene Brown said it perfectly in her Netfilx feature-

“Stop working your $#!t out on other people!”

Imagine if you had the ability to identify the emotions you were feeling, to really recognize them. Then take a moment to sit with them in whichever way is best for you.

Emotion Example: Vulnerable

How about when you are feeling sad, hurt, or vulnerable because you got passed on that promotion. You didn’t even want it that bad, you just thought you would throw your name in the hat, so you’re annoyed that you’re that upset about it. Instead of working through those emotions, you push on with your daily grind, but you stop working on all of the other goals you had for yourself because you are filled with these emotions surrounding one item.

These are just some emotions that we face regularly. They affect us differently and we react differently. A lot of times we don’t want to feel those ‘bad’ emotions so we try to ignore them. I encourage you to instead allow yourself to feel them. Stop beating yourself up about having those emotions. You are human. It’s ok. It’s completely normal. Embrace it. Think about where they’re stemming from.

Here are some tips on what you can do to really feel your emotions-

-Talk to someone about what you are feeling.  Find a listening ear and spill.  This alone can be so helpful.  

-Journal about what you are feeling.  Think about the situation or how you’re feeling and just start writing.  Whatever comes out is fine.  You’re not being graded.  This is for you.

-Go for a walk or get outside and think about how you are feeling.  Allow yourself the time and silence to reflect.

-For me its music, and probably the next one on the list combined.  I feel bad for people who aren’t Mexican and don’t listen to Vicente and Jenni as therapy  (s/o to my non-Mexicans who also enjoy).  Music can be so therapeutic so find your favs & feel the feels.

-Let out a good cry.  Not much else to say with this one, IYKYK.

-Deep Breathing exercises. There are a variety of techniques but don’t worry too much about it, just get that oxygen in. This is a great one to do if you don’t have as much time for others. It still gives you a moment to truly feel those emotions.

-Meditate. I prefer guided meditation like this one, from the Manifest your Career Podcast. Relaxing music can work too.

Still planning to ignore your emotions?

Now if you are still thinking, I handle my emotions just fine, I don’t need to do any of this. I’ll just get over whatever I’m feeling and move on. First I’d ask, why are you against trying a technique to feel your emotions? And second, next time you react in a way you didn’t intend to, evaluate that situation and see if there were other emotions surrounding it.

If you ignore the emotions and try to just push them down, they will stay with you and effect you as you attempt to move forward. By doing some of these tips, you can release those emotions so you can get your focus back, when you’re ready. You are able to make room for some ‘positive’ emotions.

I do want to stress that the ‘bad’ emotions are not actually bad at all. It’s healthy for us to have them. It’s beneficial to us because we can learn and grow from them. They also make those good times even sweeter. So now that you have really felt them, you are ready to bring in other emotions. Those feel good emotions like happiness, joy, optimism & love. Just imagine how great life would be with more happiness and love in it.

This quote from Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill always stuck with me-

“Positive & negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time”

Those real, heavy emotions that arise need to be felt and accepted, so we can then let them go. However there are also times when negative emotions arise that we should work on changing or removing right away. Things like hatred and revenge, towards yourself or others. In a previous blog, I discussed communication with yourself. Work on healthy communication with yourself (your thoughts), to avoid the negative emotions that can come with negative thoughts.

Tool to Use: Gratitude

Another tool that I am a big fan of and referred to in a previous blog, is Gratitude. Every day jot down things that you are grateful for. It can be big or small things. Some days may seem like a struggle to think of something, but give yourself the time and find something. The more you think about all the good you experience, the more likely you are to identify it going forward. And those little good things throughout your days can bring on those positive emotions.

Still not buying all of this emotional talk? Just give some of the tips a try. What do you have to lose? Better yet, think of what you have to gain! Feel more happiness in your life, you deserve it.