Maintaining a work life and mom life balance has always been important to me. I thought about that even as a high school kid choosing my future career. I knew I didn’t want to be a doctor with on call requirements, or a teacher grading papers at night and on weekends (bless you all who did take on these careers and Thank you!). I did still get into the healthcare field, but that’s a whole other blog. I became an RN and I initially felt like I had a great work/life balance.
Then I became a mother, and my home life just turned up a notch. I knew even before my first son was born that my then work life was not going to be ok for me. I left my job as a nurse manager to pursue another role that will allow me the grace I needed as a new, first time mother. That was a big decision, and not easy to make, but it was what was best for my physical & mental health and my family. A complete job change is certainly not always the answer, but sometimes it is.
What is the risk of not Balancing Work Life & Mom Life?
When there is no balance, you will feel like you have less energy to perform because you don’t get that refreshed feeling from being away from the job. Whether that be physically or mentally, you need that break. Resentment of the job can build because it keeps you from quality time with your family. So the time spent at works starts to feel even worse, creating more unhappiness.
This also effects your time at home.
If you are not performing as you would like at work, which could lead to projects and deadlines building up. This stress follows you home as you are doing your best to enjoy family time. The stress is also draining your energy. The energy you truly want to pour into your beautiful children, but just can’t seem to find an ounce more.
Let’s discuss the actual time spent at work.
The amount of time spent at work, or doing work even when home, is a big factor. This is something to reflect on. Are you required to do these extra hours? Does it always have to be you staying late to ‘put out the fire’? Are you aware of the amount of time you are spending when you ‘quick check an email’ several times a day? Is the overtime truly worth it? Those are some questions you can ask yourself, and find out why you are spending so much time on work.
Action: Balancing Work Life and Mom Life
So with all of this you may be thinking, I have some work to do. I want to find a better work life and mom life balance. Here are some things you can do to begin working on that.
Mindset Work
Another coach, Audrey Diaz Robles recently compared mindset work to fitness. Just like we exercise to strengthen our muscles, we need to complete mindset work to strengthen our minds. Some examples of mindset work can include meditation, deep breathing and journaling. As you incorporate these practices, you increase a sense of serenity. When you are able to feel serene, you will find a change in how you approach things in life. What used to stress you out, will not impact you the same. With the decreased stress, you can make better decisions for yourself. Also, as the stress decreases, you are able to enjoy the special moments more. You can be in the present moment when you’re with your kids. Soak in the joy and love they emit.
Self Care
Some elements that are important to take care of yourself include getting enough good sleep, moving your body through walks or other exercises you enjoy, and allowing yourself to enjoy nutritious meals. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to take care of those tasks at work. You’ll increase your efficiency, and again reduce some stress. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to take care of others, including your babies. They need a healthy mama.
Boundaries
It is important to set clear expectations for your job and your family. If you are no longer willing to stay all of the extra hours you used to, let your manager know. Say no to the overtime. Delegate tasks that you can. Let the team know you will not review emails outside of certain hours. Actively work on finding ways to decrease your time spent on work. It’s also important to set any necessary boundaries with your family and children. Work is still part of the equation, so they must understand that it will require parts of your time.
Remember the Big Picture
What is important to you? This question will help you with your balance. If your career growth is what is important in this moment, then maintain open communication with your family about that. Allow your focus to shift there right now. If enjoying quality time with your family is your main priority but work is somehow not allowing you to achieve that, then you know your focus is to start actively implementing ways to achieve it. Determine what it is that you want, then take small steps towards achieving that.
You’re so loyal and hardworking for your job, how dare you not do that for yourself and your family.
A job is important, but it is not the most important. Make small adjustments and give yourself permission to make necessary changes. Your happiness depends on it.
